Bond to You
by Trial of Ash
Summary: Angsty moment between Fay and Kurogane...nice ending though but not fluffy. I think Fay's really sexy as a vampire! Will Fay finally admit his true feelings and accept Kurogane's love? He deserves to be happy doesn't he?


The sight of the ninja was simply intolerable and yet equally as intolerable if Fay couldn't feel his presence. He looked at him sitting there languidly seemingly unaware of the turmoil inside his head, always so unruffled by anything…always…apart from the time when he was hugging him and crying out his name, refusing to let go and had in the end made a pact with the Dimensional Witch to transform him into the creature that he is now. If only he…and those words that sealed their destiny came to him again.

"_If you want to die so badly, I will kill you. But until then….live" _

"Kurogane." His voice rang out cold, devoid completely of emotions.

He never hated his name more, Kurogane looked up at the mage standing in front of him, his bright blue eye narrowed staring at him contemptuously but Kurogane held his gaze with his fiery reds. Ever since the mage awoken, Kuro-Pii or Kuro-Wan has ceased to exists, in place was Kurogane, the name of the man Fay knew he had to hate, the moment he was kept alive when he chose to die.

Fay looked down, ignoring the scent of Kurogane's blood tempting him, the faint echo of his strong, steady heartbeat and the heat radiating from his body, heat that always draw him to lean closer to and he tried to curb the hunger that threaten to overcome him, he will gladly choose to fade away from starvation since he was refused a quick death in Acid Tokyo. He seriously doubt the man would fulfill _that_ promise made to him what with him saving his pointless life time and again.

"I want you to do it." Fay said simply.

Kurogane stood up, hands on the hilt of Souhi and his eyes asking Fay the question he couldn't say in words. He knew the mage will never understand his intentions, yet for Fay to hold on to his "worthless" life meant the world to Kurogane. He slowly unsheathed his sword and held the blade to the mage's neck pushing him back till the mage was sandwiched between him and the stone wall, the blade draw a kiss of blood from Fay's neck. The sight tugged at his heart and wrenched it as well, he knew very well the words sputtered out that night was only his own conviction to keep the mage's life. He would find it much easier to slit his own throat then to kill him. Anger bubbled up from the depths of his soul and he slammed his other hand against the wall causing it to crack under the sheer strength of its impact.

Fay flinched and his cerulean eye widen as he pushed himself further against the wall. He couldn't do anything against a raging Kurogane, when his emotions surfaced raw and it cuts through him, cuts through his mask rending him defenseless, he didn't know if he should escaped or slide his throat against Souhi's blade and end everything right now. He watched as pure rage took over the ninja's expression and saw his blazing red eyes narrowed even further, he didn't want to answer anymore of Kurogane's questions nor does he want to fight…yet again. He place his hand upon Kurogane's which was still holding Souhi in a tight grasp and push it gently away and turned his head before his mask falls completely apart.

"Why won't you let me in?" Kurogane growled in a low whisper, yet the pleading tones underneath are unmistakable. Fay blinked away the tears that was starting to well up in his eyes and hoped that the ninja doesn't notice, his heart heaving with the guilt of treating Kurogane so. The man deserves more than this.

Kurogane knew Fay wasn't going to answer him when he turned his head away, feeling resigned he dropped Souhi back into its sheath and with a swish of his heavy winter coat, walked out the door and into the swirling snow storm outside The cold bit into him and the snow pelted his tanned face like miniature needles, he hates the snow. It reminds him of the flaky, stubborn, unyielding, yet fragile and astoundingly transparent mage. No matter how hard he tried to hide his true persona, Kurogane, ever perceptive, always sees through him, smashing his carefully built shield around his heart layer by layer. Beautiful as he is, the mage was so broken that Kurogane worries that he could never be fixed.

To be more exact, Fay would never allow himself to be fixed and would much prefer to prance around, playing the game of "who gets to kill me first" till finally one caves in and throws in the towel and he will never find the one who would take him away from his mad inner world, love less from beginning to the end. He couldn't remember when had the mage become so important to him but day by day the teases got less and less infuriating, day by day, he started to find their childish arguments more and more endearing and day by day, he realized his gaze would more often then not sought Fay's figure when he thought no one noticed.

Fay watched as the dark hulking figure left the room and crumbled. He obviously left his door too wide to allow someone to slip in and now he couldn't chase the stranger out. No matter what he did, Kurogane is embedded in his heart, with his blood flowing through his vines; Kurogane is forever a part of his miserable life. Yet, love for that brusque, dark ninja couldn't stop the memories and the fear of Ashura catching up with him from fading away. Death was the only way out, he knew his magic has been weaken greatly but because of his powers due to being a vampire he is still a commodity to Ashura and he knows very well Ashura would not forgive him for sealing him in the icy cold depths and abandoning him. Now, Kurogane has foolishly made him a liability to be carried upon to the end of his life, imposing the bond of life upon him.

He let out a soft laugh at the absurdity of it all as well as the similarities between the three of them, they seem to enjoy the torment given by each other and they can't seem to drag themselves away even when it gets too intense, too cruel for the game to continue. He felt so drained. He wished the ninja would just give up and let him die the coward he is.

For the next few days, Kurogane watched the mage slips into his mask again for the sake of reassuring Sakura and Syaoran, yet, life as they know has changed too much for them to pretend anything could still be the same. Tender concerns unforgotten he noted how weak and pale Fay is getting but Fay being Fay, he would probably attributed that to the cold surrounding them day and night.

As if his birth origins were unknown.

He would be patience, Kurogane thought. He would wait till Fay was weak enough to induce his instinct as a vampire to feed, only when hunger takes over the mage's conscious mind would he have the opportunity to do it.

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Fay stumbled to his room and made it just in time to close the door before his legs gave way, waves of nausea hit him and the world around him whirled out of focus….is this the end? He thought lucidly before darkness engulfed him.

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Kurogane watched from the corner of his eye as the mage ascended the stairs with flimsy steps while pretending to be still interested in Sakura's animated description of their daily events in town before his patience got the better of him. He stood up abruptly and saw the kids exchange a knowing glance before he headed towards the mage's room. He was well aware that they know everything; still they chose not to perform the act or mention what had transpired in Acid Tokyo, for fear of giving them more heartache than was necessary and most importantly to prevent Sakura from anymore sadness she has gone through ever since the clone has departed.

He opened the door and saw the mage sprawled across the cold stone floor, he muttered a curse as he gently scooped him up and laid him on the bed. He took Souhi out, slit himself across his wrist and waited for the mage to awake. Fay stirred as the scent of Kurogane's blood assaulted his senses, his hunger coming on full force.

"Drink" Kurogane said as he lifted his wrist towards Fay as he knelt down and watched Fay's lips closed over his open wound dripping with the blood that was the mage's life force. He felt the tips of those sharp fangs grazed over his skin and a tingling sensation as his blood is being sucked out greedily by the famished vampire. He wondered if things would ever go back to the way they were, when Fay still had that slight ray of hope deep in his heart, when he would still glimpse an occasional heartbreakingly sad, honest smile. All of a sudden Kurogane realized how much he had missed the mage's infuriating teases, the mutilation of his honorable name and the things the mage would do for "fun", which of course made Kurogane doubt his sanity. Yet, looking at Fay now, Kurogane truly felt like he was the one who broke Fay, felt like he did something far worse than whatever Ashura had done to him.

"I miss you."

Fay looked up and licked Kurogane's wound to seal it. He straightens and leaned back on the bed feeling sated. Seems like he could think of dying another time, which is _if_ he can outwait Kurogane's patience to get him cornered to feed, Fay muses and felt resentment against the ninja rising again.

"I never left, so what's to miss?" Fay retort in a deliberate airy manner.

"Don't start your games, I don't need it now and you know very well what I meant" Kurogane replied in a low steely whisper.

"There is no more games Kurogane….I just want an end. But you just can't stop interfering, you just have to decide everything for me and you keep shoving me, forcing me to live and yet you won't even let me know what you want from me!" Fay's voice got louder and shakier "What truth do you expect from me! Why do you have to make me weak, make me depend on you like this? Who's playing games here? Can't you see that you are just being selfish? I have a choice over my own life…it's my choice, not yours! Who gave you the right to decide for me?" Fay cried out in anguish and he couldn't stop his tears from falling, tears that have never fallen even when Ashura has thrown him into the deepest depths of despair. But this man…this man who so earnestly seeks for an open path to freedom from his suffering self caused much more sorrow because Fay couldn't face the truth that someone would love him enough to embrace his insane state of mind and accept whatever he has become. The Dimensional Witch is really good at manipulating the strings of Hitsuzen, thought Fay wistfully, remembering the wish he had once revealed to Kurogane.

"_I want someone to whisk me away from all this, someone who will love and protect me."_

Kurogane looked at the mage, his fiery red orbs darkening. Yes, they have been playing games but he definitely wasn't the one who started it. He wasn't the one who used other's emotions to gain false security, wearing a mask for the world to see. Was it really that wrong to be selfish to keep someone he cares about and….loves too, by his side?

"You were the one who called out to me. I won't ask for the truth, if you refuse to tell me. I only asked for your trust. Is that really too much? Is there really nothing I can offer you to stay alive?" Kurogane replied heatedly "nothing…..?" he said and clutched his fist together.

"Don't….just leave me alone." Fay replied with desperateness in his voice yet unconsciously he reached for Kurogane's coat grasping it trying to tell him to stay because he couldn't bring himself to say the words. He leaned forward and nestled his face into Kurogane's soft black coat "Why can't you just leave me alone?" he gasped, sobbing into his silky black shirt. Kurogane's fingers threaded through soft golden hair and he felt the smaller man's body quiver from the effort of suppressing his sobs. He couldn't comprehend how love could be so painful, especially when one so desperately seeks it.

All of a sudden, Fay stood up and Kurogane noticed his eye had transformed. Gone were the sparkling azure, in place was an amber eye with silted pupil glaring at him. Before Kurogane could speak he found himself being thrown across the room and he landed hard on the concrete stone floor. He grimaced and was still slightly disconcerted with the strength the mage had shown even though it was not the first time they had fought ever since Fay had transformed.

"Leave me alone! I will be the cause of your death, one way or another, sooner or later, can't you see? Can't you understand?" shouted the mage, desperation showing visibly now. Dropping to his knees, he cupped his head in his hands "Why do you have to make it so difficult?" rugged breaths came out bordering between anger and hopelessness.

Kurogane's heart twisted churning a bittersweet ache and he wondered for all the mage's intelligence, he was also equally dense. In less than three strides he was back across the room and standing in front of Fay. He pulled the kneeling mage up by his shoulders roughly and crushed him to his chest in one swift movement causing the mage to look up in surprised, the vampire in him withdrew when he sense no hostility in the act itself.

"I volunteered my blood for your survival, what makes you think I shall be worried about you taking my life or anything else for that matter?" Kurogane growled huskily and before the mage could answer; his lips were caught in a heated and impetuous kiss. Fay obviously shocked at Kurogane's reaction was quite unable to respond to his passionate administration. He stared torpidly at Kurogane through hooded eyes when he pulled away and gasped when Kurogane lowered down and trail a warm wet tongue from his ear to his neck nipping at lucid skin. He was flustered at the variety and range of reactions Kurogane always managed to get out of him. Here he was just a minute ago, full of despair, trying his best to agitate the damn ninja and cast him forever out of his life and now he felt his whole being on fire yearning for Kurogane's touch, for his caresses to douse the heat and sooth the burn.

"Don't stop…" Fay whispered as he sort out Kurogane's lips to resume the kiss, unlike Kurogane's kiss, his was imploring and slow, savoring the ninja's taste and masculine feel underneath his hands as he entwined them around his spiky black hair and well toned shoulders. Fay couldn't help letting out a moan when Kurogane deepen the kiss and moved his hands down to Fay's slender waist pulling the mage tight against the obvious evidence of his arousal.

"How could you deny_ this_ from me for so long?" Kurogane murmured against Fay's lips as his hands traveled down to the back of Fay's knees to pull his legs up to his waist, he carried the mage to the bed, laid him down gently and grinded his hips against him at the same time and was rewarded with another sultry moan from Fay. He growled and suddenly very frustrated at the layers of clothes that lay between them, he wanted to feel Fay's cool skin against him because he felt so hot that he could burst into flames at any moment. The indecent groans and moans that Fay was making wasn't exactly helping much either.

Kurogane's breathing was quick and hard when he broke the kiss again and had almost lost himself at the sight in front of him. The mage was whimpering his name and clutching the twisted sheets with his head thrown back, flushed face, half-parted lips and hooded eye clouded with lust. He laid his head on the crook of Fay's neck to calm himself down, taking in Fay's light, crisp scent and curse the mage inwardly for not only does he look like a woman, he had to kiss like one too. He really was supposed to just feed the mage, not make out with him!

His reliable, stoic and disciplined self seemingly abandons him whenever Fay is around, no matter what he did, his temper was shorter because everything the mage says is senseless and irrelevant and the words just pricked at his nerves, he couldn't seem to breathe normal due to the fact that the mage was always trying to find the opportunity to latch on to him like a leech, due to this "training" his senses are fully attuned to the mage's presence anywhere. Even in battle, he would keep a watchful eye on him rather than his own opponent despite the fact that the mage is highly capable of taking care of himself. He caught on the full force of that knowledge of exactly what Fay may be when they were thrown in Yama. Kurogane saw that cold, malicious and taunting expression that very obviously stated the ruthlessness that Fay was capable of, when one of the generals challenged Fay to a duel after he has turned down his 'amorous' advances.

But in the end it was Souhi that the general felt pointed at his neck after Fay smiled inanely before walking off into the sunset as if the whole incident had never registered itself. It was also Kurogane that blurted out in outrage that Fay was his and nobody touches him without losing an important part of his anatomy. He had of course totally surprised himself with his words and actions and that had kept him awake in their tent for a great deal of the night with him a good distance away from the sleeping mage, thinking about what happened.

The feel of Fay's cool fingers on his face and his voice bought him back from his thoughts. Kurogane gazed into his eyes and for the first time after so long he saw warmth and a shimmer of hope again in that icy blue eye.

"Hnh…you are such a distraction…" Kurogane smiled wryly "Could you not be so stubborn? I don't know what you want exactly Fay, but I do know I love you. Stop pushing me away because I won't let up… ever." He said softly and enclosed Fay in his embrace again, hoping against hope that the foolish mage would finally get it through his thick skull.

Fay felt himself calm down as Kurogane tighten his embrace and despite himself was somewhat thrilled by the fact that the ninja could be so caught up in him. Could he really drop his guard and forget about his past? What if Ashura finds them and would he have to make a choice whether to go back to Celes or risk his companion's lives by fighting with Ashura? Could he bear the lost if Kurogane falls? Could all this unhappiness truly be left behind?

But that was the future and no one knows what will happen and what was in the pass could be replaced and forgotten, maybe things would not be as bad as he had envisioned. More importantly, Kurogane was here with him _now._ Fay knew this was what he wanted so much, to be happy and to be loved by this dark, strong man who somehow claims to love him and yet gladly chased him down with his sword, yelling for his death. He knows Kurogane deserves reciprocity on his part after all his sacrifices. Fay gazed up at Kurogane and caught crimson eyes that reflected their owner's feelings and dropped his final shield.

"Save me Kuro-pii." Fay whispered with a smile that showed his happiness and acceptance. Kurogane's heart soars when he saw that smile he had waited for so long, the smile that told him lost dreams that spoke of happily ever after has been found again.

"Haven't I always, my foolish mage?" Kurogane replied with a chuckle before descending once again to capture those soft, luscious lips. He would make sure that from now on the only memories that Fay will have are joyous ones.

Well, hope you guys enjoy it! Please read and review!


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